"The Man Who Married an Ill-Tempered Wife."

Don Juan Manuel.

Summary: When asked if his son could marry a wealthy man’s daughter, the rich man said, “I am sure that if he married my daughter, he would either die or wish he were dead.” The woman was a termagant, a very devil.

Well, they were married. The young newlywed ordered his dog, in the presence of his wife, to bring him water. When the dog made no attempt to do so, the young newlywed cut the dog to pieces with his sword. Next he ordered his cat to bring him water. When the cat failed to do so, he cut the cat to pieces with his sword. Finally, he ordered his only horse to bring him water, but the horse failed to comply with the young newlywed’s wishes and the young newlywed cut the horse to pieces. When the young newlywed ordered his ill-tempered wife to bring him water, she, fearful that he would cut her to pieces, did as the newlywed ordered and then she brought him food and so on.

Comment: With apologies to PETA, I heard a variation of this story involving a donkey. When the owner ordered the donkey to move forward, and it didn’t, the owner said, “That’s once.” When the donkey still failed to move, the owner said, “That’s twice.” When the owner ordered the donkey to move a third time, and the donkey failed to comply, the owner smacked him with a mallet right between the eyes. When the wife failed to do as he ordered, the man said, “That’s once.” You get the rest. RayS.

Spanish Stories and Tales. Ed. By Harriet de Onís. The Pocket Library, 1956.